


Fall from Grace

by consultingcas



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Episode: s03e11 Mystery Spot, Episode: s05e19 Hammer of the Gods, Gabriel Big Bang Challenge, M/M, Season/Series 05, Temporary Character Death, Time Loop
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-02
Updated: 2015-05-02
Packaged: 2018-03-28 18:08:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 6
Words: 15,901
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3864670
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/consultingcas/pseuds/consultingcas
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>(Canon divergent from 5x19) Instead of killing Gabriel at the Elysium Fields Motel, Lucifer decided to resort to some of his brother’s tactics to convert Gabriel to his cause. He pushed Gabriel into a time loop, just like the one the Winchesters had been caught in, trapping him there until he agrees to support Lucifer in the Apocalypse. The only difference is, this time it’s Sam who dies every day.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This work wouldn't have happened if I hadn't had the help of a few amazing people, so I owe them an enormous thank you.
> 
> Aleatoryw for her helpful pointers on how to write Gabriel well and beta-ing my first draft. This is my first attempt at writing sabriel and getting help from one of my fave authors in the fandom only helped make this an enjoyable experience.
> 
> Angelofthemoor for her encouragement and last-minute beta-ing. This is a much better fic, thanks to you.
> 
> Thisshouldbegabriel for the amazing art. I've been admiring your art from afar for ages, so there might've been much fangirling when I realised you'd picked my fic. Thanks so much for producing such amazing images: it was amazing seeing them evolve from simple line-art drafts to the finished product.

It was funny, really, that his final showdown had to take place in the Elysium Fields Motel, named for the final resting place of heroes. One of Mercury’s sick jokes, in all likelihood: he must’ve been planning on betraying them all from the moment the meeting was organised. Not that it was so surprising really. Gabriel had never trusted that smarmy dick.

 

Lucifer’s voice cracked a little with emotion as he stared at the illusion Gabriel had conjured up to distract him. “Brother, don't make me do this.”

“No one makes us do anything.” Gabriel may have clutched his angel blade a bit tighter, but he was resolute. This was one battle worth fighting.

That didn’t stop Lucifer from trying to persuade him, though. “I know you think you're doing the right thing, Gabriel. But I know where your heart truly lies.”

 _No, bro, you really don’t._ Gabriel came ever closer behind Lucifer. He raised his blade high, lunging forward to stab it into his brother’s back.

 

He couldn’t see Lucifer’s smirk.

 

The Devil quickly turned round and twisted Gabriel’s arm, forcing him to drop his blade to the floor. Lucifer chuckled. “Amateur hocus pocus. Don't forget, you learned all your tricks from me, little brother.”

Gabriel tried to pull away, but Lucifer had his arm in a vice-like grip. With his blade, he cut a small incision in Gabriel’s neck. Grace started to pour out of the wound. Gabriel was frozen in shock, staring up at his brother with wide eyes and struggling to take in what was happening to him.

 

No. This wasn’t, couldn’t be happening. Sure, Gabriel might’ve just been about to stab him to death, but even so, Lucifer was his big brother. The one who’d taught him how to fly, who’d spent hours with him messing around with illusions. Luci was supposed to look out for him. He wasn’t supposed to try and kill him. But then again, those days were over. They ended back when Dad had left; and Michael and Lucifer couldn’t think of anything better to do than trying to kill each other.

 

A small smirk appeared on Lucifer’s face. The same one that Gabriel remembered from whenever the two of them had pulled a particularly good prank on Michael, or when they’d ditched their heavenly duties. “You always liked jokes. Let’s see how you like this one.”

He raised his hand and snapped his fingers. Gabriel blacked out.

 

 

……………………

 

Gabriel’s eyes snapped open, shocked awake by the loud blare of classic rock. Out of habit, he felt in his jacket pocket for his sword, but no dice. He couldn’t sense his grace either, so he must be human, or as good as. Fan-frigging-tastic.

 

Looking about him, everything seemed fairly normal. Just your standard trashy motel room; the kind with tacky 80s décor and lumpy beds that the Winchesters always seemed to go for. They were here too, of course. Sam was observing him from a chair stationed next to the bed while Dean was out for the count on the other twin. As he blearily started to take his bearings, Gabriel couldn’t help but recognise the lyrics of the obnoxiously loud rock music playing.

_It was the heat of the moment_

_Telling me what your heart meant_

_Heat of the moment shone in your eyes_

Sam grinned when he saw Gabriel’s look of surprise, “Sorry, I couldn’t resist. It seemed appropriate, considering.”

“Leave the pranks to me, Samsquatch. You’re lousy at them.” Gabriel smirked, sitting up in bed. “What the hell happened back there? I thought Luci had got me good.”

“Yeah, we thought so, too. We saw that DVD you left us. Nice touch with the Casa Erotica DVD.” Sam grimaced. “We figured you must be dead. Then, next thing we knew, you were laid out on the backseat of the Impala bleeding to death. You were delirious. All we could get out of you was that Lucifer had cut your grace out somehow; then you passed out. You’ve been out of it for a few days now.”

“I guess I’m too awesome to get rid of.” _Or Luci has some plan in mind for me._

“What even happened between you guys, anyway? After we left the motel?”

Gabriel’s stomach flipped at the mere mention of what had passed between him and Lucifer. Not something he really wanted to think about, let alone tell Sam. He had to think of some way to postpone that particular discussion. He forced his face into a smirk. “C’mon, Sammy. Give a guy a chance to get his breath back. I’m starved. Let’s ditch Sleeping Beauty over there and get some grub. I’ll give you all the answers you want then.”

“Fine.” Sam sighed in defeat, although the look in his eyes made it perfectly clear that the discussion was in no way over. “There’s a diner round the corner that does amazing pancakes. We can discuss what to do about your brother over breakfast. Happy?”

“You know me too well.”

 

 

………………………

 

As they were walking to the diner, the archangel got down to business. “So, you gonna share the plan to take down the Death Star, Chewbacca?”

“Very funny, shortstack.” Sam rolled his eyes, “We don’t have one. We were kinda hoping you could help with that, actually. The whole ‘stabbing the Devil with an archangel’s blade’ idea doesn’t look like that great an option anymore.”

“Yeah, would not recommend that one. Not to mention Luci filched my angel blade.” Gabriel grimaced. “I’ve got an idea, though. It’s a bad one, but it’s the only plan we’ve got.”

“Okay, what is it?” “The cage you sprung Lucifer from? It's still down there. And maybe, just maybe, we can shove his ass back in. Not that it'll be easy. You’ve got to get the cage open, then trick my bro back into it. And uh, oh yeah, avoid Michael and the God Squad. But hey, details, right?”

“Kind of important details, but okay. That sounds like it might work.” Sam looked thoughtful. “I take it you know how to open the cage again?”

“Yeah, there’s a key. Well, actually there’s keys, plural. Four rings, really. From the Horsemen. You get 'em all, you got the cage.”

“And that’d be him stuck down there for all eternity?”

“Pretty much. The seals are kaput now Lilith’s bit the dust, so nothing other than the rings would be able to crack it open.”

“So we’ve got a chance then.”

“A slim one, but yeah.”

 

As they started crossing the road to reach the diner, Sam a few paces ahead of Gabriel (damn him and his long Sasquatch legs), everything went to hell. It all happened so fast, Gabriel hardly had any time to take it in. The squeal of brakes, a loud crunch. Sam lying broken in the middle of the road, blood pouring from his side. The driver didn’t even stick around to see the damage he’d done, revving up his engine and swerving round Sam’s battered body as he drove off.

 

Gabriel quickly rushed over to Sam, checking the other man’s pulse. It was faint and fading fast. Instincts taking over, he pressed a gentle hand to Sam’s forehead, willing his grace to come and heal all of the hunter’s injuries. Nothing.

“Dammit Luci,” Gabriel swore quietly. There was nothing he could do now. It didn’t take any mojo to see that Sam wouldn’t last much longer with his injuries.

Sam’s eyes fluttered open at the sound of Gabriel’s voice. He smiled faintly at the former archangel, painstakingly reaching up a hand to brush against Gabriel’s cheek.

“It’s okay,” he murmured. Speaking was obviously a great effort. “You’ve done enough to help us, Gabe. Don’t worry about…” His voice tailed off, before he slumped down on the ground.

Gabriel didn’t need to check his pulse to know he was dead.

 

…………………

 

_It was the heat of the moment_

_Telling me what your heart meant_

_Heat of the moment shone in your eyes_

 

He’d only blinked for a moment. Only a few moments earlier, he’d been cradling Sam’s dead body in his arms, cursing his Father and any of his siblings who could be bothered listening. Yet here he was, back in the motel again with the same stupid 80s music playing on the radio. Sam was by his bed as well. Healthy as ever, no sign that he’d ever been dead only a few moments earlier.

Sam grinned back at him, obviously misinterpreting why Gabriel looked so shocked. “Sorry, I couldn’t resist. It seemed appropriate, considering.”

“Just give me a moment,” Gabriel said shakily, reaching over to switch the radio off. “Must’ve just been a bad dream… I could’ve sworn you were dead, last time I checked.”

“I could’ve said the same for you.” Sam raised an eyebrow.

 

So, he couldn’t remember dying in the previous 24 hours? Interesting. Especially as it had all felt too real to just be a dream. Gabriel had been messing around with reality since he was a fledgling: he should be able to tell the difference. Something unpleasant clenched in Gabriel’s gut as Sam kept talking.

“We thought Lucifer must’ve got you, the way things were going back at Elysium Fields when we left. Then the next thing we knew, you were laid out on the backseat of the Impala bleeding to death. You were delirious. All we could get out of you was that Lucifer had cut your grace out somehow, then you passed out. You’ve been out of it for a few days now.”

Gabriel’s feeling of apprehension only increased at Sam’s words. The motel room seemed far too familiar as well, and not just from the previous day. “Sam…this might sound like an odd question, but where are we?”

“Broward County, Florida.” Sam grimaced. “Ironic, huh? We wouldn’t have stopped here otherwise, but apparently something weird’s happening in town again so it seemed worth checking out.”

 _Son of a bitch_. “We need to go to the diner. Now.”

 

……………………

 

Gabriel didn’t bother trying to explain the situation to Sam, who followed him bemusedly as they marched off in the direction of the diner. He had to make sure his hunch was right first. And as they went along, it certainly looked that way. All the potential causes of death he’d used on Dean all those Tuesdays ago littered their path, providing any number of ways that Sam could snuff it. The dog tied to a lamppost, ready to attack; the same two removal men bickering about how best to get a desk into a house; the car that had run Sam over the previous day. The appearance of the man sat by the diner’s bar happily eating maple syrup pancakes was the final proof. Gabriel recognised that form well, having taken it often enough to spy on the Winchesters during their last visit to Broward County.

Sam obviously recognised him too, “Wait, isn’t that…”

The archangel ignored him, focusing instead on the man who’d turned round to look at them. Gabriel smiled bitterly. “Hello, Luci. This isn’t one of your more subtle jokes, is it?”

The man’s shape shifted, turning back into Lucifer’s current vessel, who smirked at them both.

Sam reached for his knife (fat lot of use that’d do him) but before he could begin drawing out an angel banishing sigil or whatever other useless scheme he had planned, Lucifer snapped his fingers. Everyone in the diner other than the two archangels froze.

“But this was one of your finest moments, brother. You know Sam Winchester still has nightmares about this trick of yours? I found it most informative.”

“What do you want?” Gabriel growled.

“Oh, just to teach you a little lesson really. I thought you liked people receiving their just desserts.” Luci pulled out an angel blade, Gabriel’s own sword, from his pocket and absent-mindedly began toying with it. As if Gabriel didn’t already know who was in complete control of the situation. “You join my side, and I’ll let you out of this little side-show. If you don’t, I’ll just leave you stuck here for all eternity.”

“And why would I care?” Gabriel shrugged, forcing a smirk onto his face. Luci would know he was bluffing, but he could at least try and keep up appearances. “Like you said, this was one of my greatest hits.”

“Oh, it was. Until you were foolish enough to fall for the Winchester boy.” Lucifer approached the pair and lightly caressed Sam’s frozen cheek. Sam might not be able to move, but the look of utter horror and revulsion in his eyes was impossible to mistake.

Gabriel clenched his fists, but he could do nothing. Lucifer had all the power here and he knew it. Gabriel taking on the Devil without his grace or blade would be suicide.

“You really thought I couldn’t see how you look at my vessel? Brother, please. All he had to do was make his best puppy dog eyes at you and you were happy to betray your family for him. You’ve always been too much of a romantic.” He combed a strand of hair back from Sam’s face, uncomfortably close to the other man. Only a few more inches and his lips would be brushing Sam’s cheek.

“Leave him alone,” Gabriel snapped, realising too late that he’d given the confirmation Luci had probably been looking for.

“This is really him, you know. Your little…diversion wasn’t enough for him and his brother to escape. Sam Winchester will die every day for as long as you remain in here. Once you finally capitulate, I don’t think it’ll take much convincing for him to say yes afterwards.” Lucifer’s focus was still on Sam, eyeing him up with an unmistakable air of possession. It made Gabriel’s blood boil to watch.

“What makes you so sure that I’ll ever say Yes to you?”

“Because I know you, brother. You’re a coward. Always have been, always will be.” Lucifer raised his fingers, ready to snap away. “Oh, and thanks for the tip about the keys, by the way. You’re right: I didn’t know there was a way to reopen the cage. I can see I need to be very careful about my Horsemen now.”

He vanished and with his disappearance, the diner sprung back into life again.

 

Gabriel swore under his breath. Not only did his brother have him by the short and curlies, but he now knew what Gabriel’s plan to end the Apocalypse was. Dad really hadn’t given him much luck today, all things considered.

Sam frowned worriedly, “Gabriel? Was that really Lucifer? What…what’s going on?”

Gabriel nodded. “Looks like I’m about to have my own series of Tuesdays, kiddo. Except this time, it’s me Luci wants to say Yes, not you.”

Sam’s eyes widened. Before he could say anything, though, he collapsed to the floor, clutching his chest in panic. Probably a heart attack. Day #90 on Ways Gabriel had killed Dean Winchester. There were gasps and looks of horror from the other diners. One woman rushed over, calling for someone to ring the emergency services. Sam’s eyes were fully fixed on Gabriel, though, amidst all the commotion. He stretched out a hand, eyes pleading with Gabriel to take it.

Gabriel didn’t.

The archangel stared down unemotionally as Sam took his final breaths. He couldn’t afford to let Lucifer have the satisfaction. Not now, not ever.

“Let the games begin,” he muttered.


	2. Chapter 2

On Day #10, Gabriel tried to leave town. He filched the Impala keys from Dean’s pocket and snuck out of the room while Sam was in the bathroom (hopefully not being electrocuted by his razor or suffering some similarly unpleasant fate). Of course, it wasn’t like his escape was going to go unnoticed for too long. He’d only reached the end of the street before he spotted the two Winchesters come running out of the motel and charging down the street after the car.

 

Rolling his eyes, Gabriel pressed the accelerator pedal down to the floor. Focusing on the road ahead, though, it soon became obvious what a bad idea that was: a herd of moose blocked the highway. Lucifer had obviously given up trying to be subtle. Uttering a few choice swear words, the archangel swerved, bringing the car to a shuddering stop.

 

It was too late, though. Already startled by the noise, the moose had started to stampede, heading right towards the Winchesters. Gabriel only caught a quick glimpse of their twin looks of horror before they were lost in the herd’s charge. It only took a few moments for him to wake up to the familiar guitar riffs of Asia once more.

 

……………………

 

“I told you muttonheads, you’re trapped in a time loop. So instead of bitching at me, we _should_ be trying to bust out of Groundhog Day.”

“And why the hell should we believe you? ‘Til Elysium Fields, this was what you wanted, right? Us playing our roles. Maybe you’re in on this whole scam, too, if we really are trapped in a time loop. This is exactly your kind of trick.”

“Dean, wait a second. Maybe he’s got a point. I mean, Lucifer’s not had much luck so far. It would make sense for him to go for something he knows actually works in terms of freaking me out to get me to say Yes.”

“So you want us to just trust him? Seriously, Sam?”

“Um, Dean-o, it might not be the best idea to have that gun out.”

“Shut up, you son of a bitch, I’m-” Dean hadn’t realised that the gun’s safety catch was off as he gesticulated at Gabriel.

It went off, Sam slumping to the floor.

Dean and Gabriel stared at each other in mutual horror as blood poured from the wound and Sam took his last breaths.

Gabriel sighed. “I did warn you.”

 

 

…………………

 

Some of the deaths were just plain bizarre. Day #40 deserved an honourable mention: Sam somehow tripped over the pile of boots at the motel door, impaling himself on the Winchesters’ knife collection. The same could be said of when he got electrocuted by his laptop on Day #57. And not even good old Casa Erotica was a welcome refuge for Gabriel after the events of Day #69.

 

By Day #70, it was just getting ridiculous. Who actually gets killed by a knife-wielding clown anyways?

 

…………………

 

Finally, enough was enough. Gabriel had seen Sam die in pretty much every way imaginable. He’d tried convincing the Winchesters that they were caught in a trap to get them to bust out. He’d contacted every magically-minded friend he had. He’d even ended up praying to Michael to bust them out. He’d tried everything. And the result? Nada. Nothing. T

 

hen again, that wasn’t strictly true. There was one way he hadn’t dared try. He knew it’d work. Too many years as the Trickster meant he knew almost everything that was worth knowing about creating realities. But he was too much of a coward for that. Luci was right about that much at least.

 

By Day #80, though, Gabriel had nothing to lose. Anything was better than being trapped in Lucifer’s sick game with no hope of escaping. That morning when he woke up, under the pretext of going to freshen up, he headed into the bathroom, locked the door and pulled out the knife he’d hidden in his jacket.

 

The maddest thing a man can do is let himself die, after all.

 

It shouldn’t take long. Gabriel had been training with swords and daggers since he was a fledgling. He knew every vulnerable spot on the human body. If he was quick, he’d hardly even feel a thing as he sliced open his chest. At least, that was the theory. The practical application was far more challenging. Gabriel had always done so much to keep on living. Hell, the amount of times he’d played dead could even rival the Winchesters’ actual death tolls. Killing himself felt kind of pointless, after all that. It wasn’t even like he wanted to go. But if he didn’t, then Sam would still be trapped… The blade felt strange in his hand, lighter than his usual sword. A further reminder of how far he’d fallen. Absent-mindedly, he twirled the dagger in his hand, wanting to get used to the feel of it before he did the deed.

 

His mind was made up. Sam had to live. He couldn’t deal with knowing he stood back and watched Sam die, over and over, when he could have ended it all. He’d watched people he cared about die too many times. This time, he was actually going to stop it. Even if it meant that he would be gone for good this time.

 

Those few seconds of silent contemplation cost him dearly.

 

“Gabriel? What’re you doing in there? You’re quieter than usual.”

Sam. Of course. Like this was ever going to be easy.

“I’m fine. Just give me a few more minutes.” He couldn’t quite keep the tremor out of his voice.

“You sure? You don’t sound so great.”

He shouldn’t open the door. Having Sam there would only make his job harder. But then again…it’d be nice not to die alone. Gabriel considered for a few moments before opening the door, letting Sam in.

The other man’s eyes widened when he saw the knife. “Where the hell did you get that?”

“Swiped it from your dufflebag.” Gabriel shrugged. “Where else would I get it?”

“You…you do know that normal knives’ll hurt you now, right? Without your grace, I mean…”

“That’s the idea.” Gabriel sighed when he saw the look of horror dawn on Sam’s face. “Look, I’ve tried to tell you before, but you don’t remember. Luci’s got us trapped in a timeloop. I’m just trying to bust us out.”

“…Okay, so there’s a ritual you need to perform? Gabe, if you’d just asked, Dean and me could’ve-“

Gabriel cut him off. “You couldn’t have helped, Sam. No offence, but after the last few days, no way am I letting you near anything sharp and pointy. This is something I’ve got to do myself.”

“Tell me.” Sam’s voice was quiet as he moved closer to Gabriel. “At least tell me what you’re going to do.”

“My grace is what’s powering this time loop. Luci’s vessel is falling apart as it is, he can’t spare the juice for something like this. Even though Luci cut it out, he still left it kinda connected to me. Still hoping I’ll agree to help him, I guess.” Gabriel said softly. “If I’m gone, that grace’ll disappear and you guys’ll be free of this time loop.”

“You don’t mean…”

“It’s the only way, kiddo. I’ve not got a human soul either, so even Luci can’t bring me back from the dead. You’ve got to promise me something, though. The moment you’re out of Groundhog Day, you get the hell out of Dodge, understand?”

“No.” Sam’s mouth set in a tight line. “You should know I’m not gonna let you do this.”

“I don’t take orders from you, Sam. Don’t expect me to start now.”

 

Gabriel drew the blade back, ready to plunge it deep into his chest. Seeing what he was about to do, Sam lunged for the dagger. They grappled a bit, Gabriel struggling to fight the larger man off. His human form wasn’t very strong, but Gabriel was nothing if not resourceful, though. Elbowing Sam in the groin, he slipped out from the larger man’s tight grip. Not carefully enough, though. As Gabriel slid free, there was the soft squish of metal penetrating flesh. Sam staggered backwards, eyes wide as blood poured from his abdomen.

Gabriel stared down horror-struck at the fallen hunter’s body. Lucifer had put him through some fairly nasty torments over the previous few days, but none of them rivalled this. This time, he’d been the one to kill Sam.

“Gabe…” Sam was busy choking on his own blood, but he still somehow managed to speak. He reached out a hand. With some trepidation, Gabriel took it. “Promise me…promise me you won’t try to kill yourself again.”

“But it’s our best chance of getting out of here, Sam. Or you’re just gonna keep dying.” Sam shook his head. “No…you dead…that’s worse than this timeloop…not gonna be able to hold off Lucifer if you do...”

Gabriel clung on tightly to the hunter’s hand, and Sam showed no sign of wanting to pull away. “But I’m not important, Samsquatch. No one’s gonna care if I bite the dust or not.”

“I would care. Gabe, I…” Sam started to have another coughing fit.

Then he lay still.

 

 

…………………

 

For days afterwards, Sam’s dying words haunted Gabriel. He couldn’t close his eyes without seeing the hunter’s prone body, blood pouring from the wound he’d made. As much as he wanted to end it all, he couldn’t, though. He couldn’t get Sam’s words out of his head, whether the hunter could remember them or not.

 

Why would Sam care about him? It wasn’t like he’d done anything to particularly deserve the guy’s good opinion. If anything, he’d done just the opposite. Okay, maybe he’d tried to save the Winchesters by holding off Lucifer. But he’d only done that after Dean’d bullied him into it. And maybe Sam’s puppy dog eyes had helped too, but Gabriel didn’t like to think too much on that. It definitely shouldn’t be enough for the Winchesters to consider him as a friend, someone they actually trusted. Maybe it was just their ridiculous desire to save everyone? Sam just said what he had to so Gabriel wouldn’t do anything stupid, determined to work out another way of escaping the loop without any of them dying. Yeah, that was probably it. Stupid self-sacrificing kid who cared too much, with his dumb floppy hair and ridiculously green eyes. Gabriel didn’t know sometimes if he’d rather torment the guy just to see that adorable frown he made when he was confused or kiss him ‘til he was breathless…No, best not to think about that. Not gonna happen, no matter how much he wanted it to.

 

All the same, Sam’s words bothered him until one day Gabriel eventually decided to ask him about them. After all, it wasn’t like Sam would actually remember their conversation. Time loops did have that particular advantage. Sam’d survived a little longer than usual that day. The two of them had made it to the diner, ditching Dean before he could wake up, and Sam was chowing down on his usual Moose fodder of Caesar salad. All in all, it was perfect conditions. Hopefully Sam wouldn’t die before the end of their conversation. Luci would be cruel enough to pull a stunt like that.

“Why did you help me? When I showed up half-dead in your car?”

Sam frowned a little, examining him closely before responding. “What do you mean? I’d have thought that was obvious.”

“Not to me, it isn’t. We’ve never exactly been the best of friends, Sammy.”

“You saved our lives, Gabriel. I’ve helped people out for less.”

“Still. Wouldn’t have figured an archangel and part-time trickster would be high on your list. After all, last few times we’ve met, you’ve been pretty keen to make me acquainted with a wooden stake.”

“Times change.” Sam shrugged. “I wouldn’t have figured Dean’d have an angel as his best friend, and yet here we are.”

“Yeah, right. Like Dean and my baby bro are just friends.” Gabriel leered.

Sam frowned. “I don’t know what the hell you’re talking about.” “So you mean you haven’t seen those two eyeing each other up like they want to audition for _Casa Erotica_?”

“Gross. Did not need that mental image.” Sam screwed up his face in disgust. “But yeah, I know what you mean. Those two idiots are clueless.”

Gabriel leaned forwards, smirking a little. “I never told you where I sent Cas in TV land, did I?”

“No.” Sam smiled warmly at him. “What the hell did you do?”

“I might’ve just put him into a version of _The Bachelor_.” Gabriel laughed, pleased to see Sam smiling. Really, it was a test. See how much resentment still actually lingered in Sam’s mind about their past history. But they wouldn’t be joking around like this if he was still bitter, would they? “Baby bro was not happy when he saw Dean-o was a special guest on the show.”

Sam laughed. “Man, what I would’ve given to see that.”

“If I still had my powers, I could’ve shown you.” Gabriel’s face fell.

Sam’s mirth ceased abruptly too. “What are you gonna do now? Now you’re human, I mean,” he asked hesitantly.

Gabriel shrugged. Of course, he was probably just going to stay in this loop until Lucifer got bored of whatever game he was playing (he didn’t like to think about the possibility that he could ever actually say yes to his brother’s offer), but Sam wasn’t to know that. “You know me, never one for thinking that far ahead.”

“You could always stay with us?” Sam’s voice was so quiet, Gabriel wasn’t sure he’d heard correctly.

“Excuse me?”

“You could stay with us.” Sam said more confidently. “I mean, you did kinda come down on Team Free Will’s side in the end, right? It makes sense for you to stick around. We want you here, Gabriel.”

 

Screw it. It wasn’t like he had much to lose now, anyways. Gabriel surged forward, grabbing Sam’s shirt as he pulled him in close. Their lips met and Gabriel started to kiss him, passionately, desperately. He couldn’t avoid them now, all those feelings he’d taken such care to keep hidden. The first few moments of happiness when Sam first stumbled across his path, their initial mutual attraction. The look of hurt in Sam’s eyes when he realised Gabriel was the Trickster, and the way the archangel’s heart had nearly broken at the sight. The Mystery Spot. Gabriel being willing to do anything to stop Sam from making the same bad choices as his family, absolutely anything. Even if that meant letting Sam hate him. How Sam and Dean had been the only ones to see through his disguises and outwit him, time and time again. How they actually took the time to try and convince him to take their side, not just dismissing him as some frivolous prankster like everyone else had. All of that had been building to this one moment, this one kiss. And for the first time since Lucifer’s charade had begun, Gabriel was happy to be human. If it meant that he could kiss Sam like this, feel his heart pounding in his chest, he was prepared to endure anything.

 

All too soon, though, it was over. Sam shoved him away violently. “What the hell was that?” He was almost at the point of shouting, glaring at Gabriel.

“Kids these days call it a kiss.” Gabriel tried, and failed, to brush it off with his usual bravado. That wasn’t going to work this time, though. He couldn’t quite disguise the hurt in his eyes or the way that his voice wavered a little as he just barely held it together.

“I know what a kiss is, Gabriel. I’m not dumb. I just want to know what the hell was going through your mind that made you think that was a good idea,” Sam snapped.

Of course everything had to go wrong. Where Gabriel was concerned, they always did. “I…”

“Were you trying to screw with me? Is that what this is? Because I seriously don’t have time for it.”

“I’m not screwing with you, Sam. I promise. I wouldn’t do something like that.”

“Oh really? ‘Cause you seemed perfectly alright with torturing me a few years back. Because that’s what it was like for me, watching you kill Dean over and over. I had nightmares about that, Gabriel. I still do. And let’s not pretend you’ve changed, because all that crap in TV land? The Nutcracker, turning me into the Impala. What was your thought process there? ‘Hey, this guy has tons of awful experiences of losing body autonomy. Let’s screw with him by reminding him of all the times people have manipulated him through sex and possessed him.’ You’re lucky I can even stand to be in the same room as you right now. If it wasn’t for the Apocalypse, I wouldn’t even be able to do that. Only reason why you’re here now is ‘cause we need your help taking down Lucifer. If it wasn’t for that, you’d be on the streets.”

“Sam, give me a chance to explain. I never meant any of it like that. Any of it. If I could take it all back-”

“Yeah, well, you can’t.”

“Five minutes. That’s all I’m asking for.”

“Yeah, and if you’d have given me five minutes to talk to you, back when you started all that time loop crap, you’d have saved me from watching my brother die over a hundred times.” Sam shook his head. “Why should I do you the same favour?” He didn’t even seem at all bothered about how hurtful his words were, just taking another mouthful of salad. Then again, he’d happily stabbed Gabriel a few times, thinking he’d killed the Trickster. A few harsh words probably didn’t seem like that big a deal to him.

He had to explain, had to do something to make this all right. Even if Sam didn’t remember saying all this, Gabriel would. “I love you, Sam. That’s why I kissed you. You’d said some stuff before and I thought you might want that, so I had to try.” He took great pains not to look Sam in the eye. “I’m not asking for any special favours or for you to just forget about what I did to you. I know you can’t. And I’m not gonna change. I’m always gonna be that same guy that you obviously hate so much. But I just want to have been honest with you, for once. Dad knows, I don’t do that often.” Even if he would never remember it. Especially because he would never remember it.

Sam stared at him. Quickly swallowing down his mouthful of salad, he said quietly, “What could ever possibly make you think that I could love someone like you? Don’t ever pull a stunt like that on me again, Gabriel, or I swear, I’ll-” He started to cough.

At first, it seemed like a normal coughing fit. But it went on too long, Sam struggling to dislodge something stuck in his throat. His face went red as he had difficulty breathing. He reached out a hand to Gabriel, obviously asking, begging, for help. Gabriel sat motionless, watching the scene unfold. Sam tried one last time to grab Gabriel’s hand, imploring him to do something. Gabriel shrugged him off. Carefully, he slid out of the booth and walked calmly out of the restaurant. He didn’t look back.


	3. Chapter 3

It isn’t every day a pair of pagan gods shows up on your doorstep, Sam thought wryly as he stared out the window, examining the two unexpected guests to Sioux Falls closely.

 

He couldn’t help but be somewhat surprised at the literal _deus ex machina_. Kali hadn’t exactly been the friendliest to them, despite their rescuing her from Lucifer. Yet here she was a few weeks later, standing on Bobby’s porch with a look of faint distaste as she surveyed her surroundings. He didn’t recognise the girl next to her, although there was something about her smirk which seemed vaguely familiar. Still, he shouldn’t be so surprised. It wouldn’t have been the first time, though, that they wound up winning unexpected allies to their cause. After all, Gabriel hadn’t exactly been best buddies with them before he… Sam quickly dismissed the thought. He didn’t like to think about the archangel too much. Not when they’d probably gone and got him killed. After all, they hadn’t heard from him since Sioux Falls. Much as Sam might imagine that he was holed up some place safe, being a callous dick about the apocalypse, it didn’t seem likely. He’d gone into that fight knowing he was going to die. That DVD he’d left them had felt a little too much like a suicide note to leave any room for doubt there.

Dean came up behind him, also glancing out the window.

“What’d you think they want?” Sam asked quietly.

“I guess it’s too much to hope for that they’re here to help us stop Lucifer?” Dean shrugged, “So long as we’re not on the menu, we might as well talk to them. I mean, we do need all the help we can get.”

“You think they might have a lead on the Horsemen?”

“Hope so. They might at least know why things are so damn quiet at the minute.”

Sam went and opened the door for the pair. Kali strolled in like she owned the place, the other girl following her in and holding out a hand for Sam to shake.

“Hey guys. I’m Hel. Nice to finally meet you fellas.” She grinned at them. “Dad told me a lot about you two. Never let me come and mess with you, though, more’s the pity.”

“Your Dad…?” Dean looked a little confused. “What the hell you talking about? Most pagans we run across don’t live to tell the tale.”

“Yes. We’ve noticed.” Kali said coldly. “It is because of Gabriel that we’re even here in the first place.”

“Son of a bitch” Dean stared at her. “Gabriel had a kid?”

“Huh. Didn’t know those pagan legends were true.” Ever since they’d found out about Gabriel’s pagan past, Sam had always idly wondered how many of the Loki stories were true. Given how often he seemed to piss people off in the legends, he guessed it kinda made sense. Although he really didn’t want to think about if Sleipnir was actually created the way he was in the Norse sagas: the idea of Gabriel having a fling with a horse was not the kind of information Sam needed or wanted to know.

“Yeah, we’re all real. Dad had a wild time of it back in the good old days.” Hel smirked knowingly. Sam had to wonder just how much in the way of mind-reading powers pagan gods had. Or part-pagan gods, at any rate. Now she’d said it, the family resemblance was obvious. Hel and Gabriel had the same smirk, the same whiskey coloured eyes. It didn’t take much to guess who her mother was either, with her regal poise and dark skin. Hel had lucked out on getting both Kali’s and Gabe’s good looks.

“Mom told me what happened at Elysium Fields. See, we don’t think he’s dead.” Hel continued speaking. “Dad and me are about the only people who can travel to the realms of the afterlife like Valhalla. He might not’ve been a proper pagan god, but he still got some of his juice the way the rest of us do, though the sacrifices and prayers of pagan worshippers. I’d have sensed that part of him die if he was gone. Instead, that power seems to be going someplace else. Can’t quite get a read on it, though.”

“Wait a second, so you’re saying he’s alive?” Sam sat down, frowning a little. “You think he’s run away again, to get out of the fighting?” Something about the very idea disgusted him. He couldn’t think quite that badly of the archangel, no matter what he’d put him through. He guessed that it was the part of him that still wanted to think of Heaven as the good guys.

“Gabriel might be a coward, but he does have some sense of honour, however small.” Kali shook her head. “Besides, both Hel and I have felt Gabriel trying to communicate with us over the last few days. The message was somewhat garbled, but he said something about being trapped and needing help escaping. Combined with Lucifer having suddenly discovered that there is a way to shut him back in the cage using the horsemen’s rings, according to our sources, the most likely answer is that he’s being held hostage by the forces of Hell.”

Sam and Dean looked at each other.

“Son of a bitch…”

“That’d explain why all the horsemen have suddenly off the grid.” Sam looked thoughtful. “And you’re wanting us to help get him back, right?”

Hel nodded. “There’s a spell which might be able to summon him out of wherever Lucifer’s holding him. Mom blood-bound herself to him, so we’ve got a link there. I can’t sense him on this plane of reality though, so it’s gonna be tricky. Too much angel grace in the mix for me to get a read on his location.”

“And you need our help because…?”

“We don’t know what Lucifer will have done to him. He needs somewhere safe to recover. Gabriel would not be received too favourably amongst our kind at the moment, so we can’t help him. No matter what else he once was to us, he is an angel. Besides, they blame him for the Elysium Fields massacre.” Kali’s lip curled a little in distaste. “You are the best option he has. You’ll be wanting his help to stop the Apocalypse, I presume?”

Sam sighed, “Having an archangel on our team’d be a good thing. You guys’re down to help us as well, right?”

She nodded, “When the final confrontation happens, you can count on our backing, Sam Winchester. Just make sure it isn’t a bloodbath this time. I have no intention of letting those angels bring about the destruction of me or any more of my kind.”

“Deal.” Dean grinned. “Now, let’s go catch ourselves an archangel.”

 

………………

 

The spell involved to bring Gabriel back seemed simple enough. An archangel summoning ritual, tweaked to work based on Kali’s blood spell rather than what remained of Gabriel’s angel mojo. They waited until sunrise to perform the spell. It gave them more time to adequately angel-proof Bobby’s house. They couldn’t afford for Lucifer to find them, especially if Gabriel was out of commission. Besides, the magic was more powerful then. Hel had carefully drawn out a series of runes and Enochian sigils on the floor, placing a metal basin in the centre of the work, filled with holy oil, yarrow and mistletoe. Once it was all ready, she began to chant in a guttural murmur.

_Ge-iad, gah io es,_

_Vin nonca aspt a ai om._

As she muttered the final words, she lit a match and threw it down into the basin, where the herbs erupted into flames. For a few moments, it looked like the spell hadn’t worked. Then Gabriel appeared in the middle of the circle. He looked different from when the Winchesters had last seen him. Somehow smaller, weaker. Human. He stared around at the group with wide eyes before taking a shaky step or two forward.

“So. You muttonheads finally managed to find a way to bust out of the Matrix. About time you…” Gabriel started to say before his legs gave out from under him and he toppled to the floor.

Sam rushed over, easily lifting the smaller man bridal-style. “We’d better get him inside. He looks exhausted.”

Dean nodded and followed him back towards the house. Gabriel had passed out from sheer tiredness, muttering nonsense in some unintelligible language under his breath as he nestled in close to Sam’s chest. Sam didn’t have the heart to push him away.

Once they’d set him down gently on Bobby’s couch, Hel came over to examine him. “Looks like we were right. Dad’s grace is gone. Plus, I can sense the remnants of angel mojo on him. Lucifer must’ve kept him stashed in an alternate dimension or something.” She clenched her fists in silent anger. “We should’ve got there sooner.”

In an uncharacteristic display of affection, Kali came over to rest a hand on Hel’s shoulder. “We’ve done all we can for now. Besides, we will have vengeance on Lucifer. I promise you that much.”

 

……………

 

By the time Gabriel started to wake up, the pagans had already left. They were planning on rousing any of the old gods who remained to fight the Devil. Not without promising to visit first, though. Like it or not, they were all allies now. How times had changed.

 

Sam had been left in charge of keeping an eye on the comatose archangel while Dean insisted on getting a few hours of shut-eye. He did his best not to look too much at the prone body on the couch, occupying himself with research to pass the time. It didn’t seem right to see Gabriel like that, utterly helpless. As a result, though, he didn’t realise that the ex-archangel had woken up until he heard a yawn and saw a surprised pair of golden eyes looking back at him.

“Sam? What the hell are we doing here? Not that I’m complaining, but shouldn’t I be back in the motel? I mean, that’s usually how this goes.”

Still coming out of a research-induced fog of concentration, Sam only fully grasped the meaning of half of Gabriel’s words. He did his best to answer Gabriel’s questions though. “You gave us quite a scare, Gabriel. We thought Lucifer must’ve got you, the way things were going back at Elysium Fields before we left. Good thing you somehow managed to get a message to Kali or we’d have never realised you were still alive.”

“So…I’m out? Luci’s not still got us caught in a trap or something?”

Sam shook his head, grinning. “You’re safe now, I promise.”

 

He came over to sit next to Gabriel on the couch. It was just meant as a friendly gesture, a way to say ‘Hey, thanks for saving our lives last time we met’ and reassure the other man that he wasn’t going to get pissed about all the stuff that’d happened between them in the past. Gabriel obviously didn’t interpret it that way, though. He flinched when Sam sat down next to him, moving away a little from the other man. Strange. Gabriel didn’t seem like the type to ever actually show fear. Obviously whatever Lucifer had done to him was worse than they’d suspected.

Sam frowned, glancing over at him. “You doing okay, Gabe?”

“I’m fine.”

Yeah, right. Like Sam, experienced as he was in the ‘101 ways Dean Winchester avoided talking about his feelings’, was going to fall for that one.

“I call bullshit. There’s no need to lie, Gabriel. I’ve been on the other end of your brother’s mind games before. I know what it’s like. So if you need to talk, I’m here.”

“No offense, Sam, but you’re the last person I plan on having a heart-to-heart with.” Gabriel turned his back on Sam. “Don’t expect me to tell you what happened, because I’m not going to.”

Fine. If that’s how Gabriel wanted him to play it, Sam wasn’t going to stop him.

“You want be a dick, that’s your call. But I think you’re being an idiot.” Sam got up, grabbing his laptop and making to leave the room.

 

Gabriel waited until Sam had gone before he let the tears fall from his eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Enochian summoning spell is loosely based off of the one in "Free to be You and Me" which Dean and Cas used to summon Raphael. It translates as "Lord, one of the four who live forever. I invoke you with holy fire amongst us."


	4. Chapter 4

After that, Gabriel pretty much shut himself off from the Winchesters. Bobby’s couch became his permanent base, where he spent most of his time watching trashy TV or just generally whinging about being human. Any time they tried to get any intel from him on ways to stop Lucifer from him, he’d scowl and just tell them to get lost. It was infuriating.

 

It was worst when Sam was around. It didn’t take a genius to notice that Gabriel tensed up every time he entered a room, and any time Sam tried to talk to him, his answers were monosyllabic. Sam spent longer than he’d care to admit dwelling on why Gabriel had suddenly decided he was persona non grata. After all, he was even being civil to Dean, like he’d never tried to kill him a hundred times or so.

 

Sam couldn’t help but be a bit offended. Yeah, Gabriel had never been exactly nice to him, but he’d always imagined the Trickster had a bit of a soft spot for him. They’d almost been flirting, back when Sam had thought he was just a janitor. If Dean hadn’t been there and they’d not been working a job, Sam would’ve probably asked the guy out for a drink or two. Not like it would’ve been the first time he’d had a guy over. Of course, then Gabriel had to try and wreck it by being a pagan god/archangel in disguise, but still. He’d thought they’d had something. Now Gabriel wouldn’t even look at him. He didn’t really want to think about why. Not too hard to guess who might’ve wanted to use him against the archangel. Or perhaps it wasn’t even that. Maybe Gabriel was just freaked because he was Lucifer’s vessel. Kind of insulting really, that he couldn’t tell the difference. So yeah, maybe he was a bit pissed. Maybe he was a little snarkier with the archangel than usual. So what? Not like Gabriel couldn’t handle it.

 

Watching Gabriel and Sam do everything they could to piss each other off, Dean couldn’t help but reach one obvious conclusion. His brother was an idiot. Gabriel was obviously freaked out and Sam just had to make it worse by giving him the cold shoulder. Dean might’ve known what was going on: he’d been on the receiving end of enough of Sam’s sulks to know that it was Sam blaming himself rather than genuine anger. But Gabriel didn’t. It was obviously hurting him too. Every time Sam snapped at him, the archangel closed off from them a little more. Dean never thought he’d say it, but he was actually feeling kind of sorry for the guy. Probably the puppy dog eyes. Gabriel could give Sam a run for his money there. Plus, it was sad to see how pathetic he looked, hunched up on the couch watching _Doctor Sexy M.D._ reruns.

 

So when Cas called to say he was human, but back in the game, Dean quickly suggested that he drive down to pick up the other angel. He’d rather take on Lucifer than have to suffer much more of Gabriel and Sam’s bickering. Besides, it gave him a good excuse to go see Cas. Dean’d done his best not to let on, but he hadn’t been able to help worrying about the angel. Of course, he’d probably not hidden his worry well enough, going by Sam’s smirks and stupid comments about how he wasn’t in the mood for a long drive and that he’d be just fine sticking round at Bobby’s. Bitch. Not that Dean was complaining about getting some time alone with his best friend on the ride home, of course. It was just Sam’s snide comments that sucked. As if there was even any damn truth in them.

 

It didn’t take much to sneak into the hospital. Just a few forged documents claiming that he was Cas’s long-lost cousin, and he was in. Dean couldn’t help loitering for a while outside Cas’s door, nervous about what greeting he was going to get. Finally, he opened the door.

 

Christ, Cas looked smaller than he’d remembered. You wouldn’t have thought one tan trenchcoat’d make such a difference, but the man lying in the hospital bed seemed lesser somehow, weaker. Or maybe it wasn’t just the trenchcoat. There was something different about the way Cas held himself now. Gone was the straight-backed posture of a soldier. Instead, he was slumped over, shoulders hunched, as though he was trying to take up as little space as possible. Something about the air of utter hopelessness which surrounded him couldn’t help but remind Dean of that other Cas, the drugged-up hippie of 2014. The thought was enough to make him shiver.

It took Dean clearing his throat pointedly to make Cas look up. “Dean?” Man, his voice sounded even more raspy than it usually did, if that was even possible. “You came.”

Dean nodded, coming over to sit on the edge of Cas’s bed. “How’re you doing, man?”

Cas shrugged. “As well as can be expected.”

“That bad, huh?”

Cas said nothing.

Dean couldn’t help the sinking feeling of guilt in his gut. After all, what went down at Van Nuys was his fault. If he hadn’t been such a stubborn bastard, Cas might not’ve lost his powers so fast. And if he hadn’t talked Cas into joining their side, he’d still be an angel.

Dean finally broke the silence by standing up and starting to collect Cas’s things together. “C’mon. Let’s get you home.”

 

 

………………

 

Some of the awkwardness had evaporated by the time they reached the Impala. Dean had decided to fill the empty silence between them by gossiping about everything Cas’d missed while he’d been gone. Some of the stuff wasn’t exactly the best for raising his spirits (Cas had looked horrified the whole way through Dean’s explanation of what’d happened to Gabriel), but by the time he’d got onto their brothers’ antics, he’d at least managed to coax a smile out of the ex-angel. At least, Sam and Gabriel’s bickering was good for something.

“Has Gabriel ever said where Lucifer trapped him for all that time?” Cas asked eventually.

Dean shook his head. “Every time we try and ask, he just shuts up and won’t talk for ages. Must’ve been something bad to spook him like that.”

“How bad is it?” Castiel asked quietly.

“Pretty bad. He flinches every time Sam comes anywhere near him, and if he had any choice, he’d avoid him completely. It’s not easy on Sammy, either. The poor kid just knows it’s because he’s Lucifer’s vessel.”

“That is strange. If anything, I would have said Sam was Gabriel’s favourite of the two of you. I would have assumed he would look much more to your brother for support. Although that does mean Sam’s increasing irritation with Gabriel makes a lot more sense.”

Dean laughed, “Gabriel prefers Sam? Seriously? You weren’t there for half of it, but if you saw some of the stuff he did in TV land, you wouldn’t say that.”

Cas pursed his lips in thought. “Gabriel has somewhat unorthodox ways of expressing affection. The more he likes you, the more he strives to annoy you. Besides, Gabriel and your brother have always shared a profound bond. I think he sees a lot of his younger self in him.”

“So he hit Sam in the balls on that Nutcracker show ‘cause he cared about him?” P

rofound bond? Now that raised questions he really didn’t want to know the answers to. Sam wasn’t into guys. Dean couldn’t have missed out on noticing something as major as that. Could he? Unbidden, the image of Sam laughing and joking with Gabriel flashed before his eyes. Had they been flirting? And he had seemed kinda upset after they’d watched Gabriel’s porno death note… No. Dean didn’t even want to think about Sam getting freaky with Gabriel. Ruby had been bad enough and no way did he want to go through a situation like that again.

“I never said it was a wise stratagem.” Cas sighed, quickly changing the subject. “Gabriel always cared too much. This whole situation won’t have been easy for him. I can imagine him taking whatever happened between him and Lucifer very badly and going by what you’ve said, I think that’s a fair assumption.”

“Yeah, I know. It sucks, seeing him like this.”

Cas looked a little surprised at that. “I don’t understand. I thought you didn’t like him.”

“I don’t.” Seeing Cas’s look of puzzlement only deepen, Dean began to explain. “It’s not even that he put us through loads of shit in the past. The guy kinda redeemed himself when he went and got stabbed to save us. It’s just…I know how it goes, acting like you don’t give a crap when you’re hurting inside about your family, knowing you’re too much of a coward to stand up to your family and force them to fix things.”

Cas was silent for a long time before replying. “You hate him because he reminds you of parts of yourself that you would rather forget about.”

Dean nodded. He’d never been able to talk about this stuff with anyone else before. But Cas had an annoying habit of dredging up old truths which he’d have rather remained forgotten.

“I hate him ‘cause I could’ve become that, if I’d never met back up with Sam. Losing myself in the job, telling myself that I’m helping people when actually I could just be making things worse. I just knew it, you know. That first time we met him, back in Ohio. The whole trickster gig was one big act, ‘cause he couldn’t face up to what had happened with his family. Now all that’s gone, he’s just hurting even worse.”

Cas hesitantly rested a hand lightly on his knee. It all felt a bit chick-flick, but Dean couldn’t quite bring himself to pull away. “There is a reason you were the Righteous Man, Dean.” His voice was quiet. “You always act for the right reasons, even if your actions sometimes have negative consequences. You shouldn’t allow yourself to become consumed by so much guilt.” Castiel sighed. “I know the weight you carry around with you, Dean. I used to be able to see your soul, after all. One of my greatest sadnesses since meeting you is how much you hold yourself responsible for.”

Dean wasn’t a touchy-feely person. Even Sam only got the occasional manly slap on the back or a hug when things got real rough. But even so, he took Cas’s hand in his and squeezed it gently.

“Thanks, buddy.”

Cas blushed, his eyes full of some unidentifiable emotion. “You don’t need to thank me for telling the truth.”

Normally, Dean would have argued with him. Instead, though, he smiled softly at the other man. “Even so, thanks.”

Their hands stayed linked for quite a long time afterwards.

 

……………………

 

Gabriel hardly stirred from the couch when Dean and Castiel arrived back at Bobby’s. That was when Castiel knew for sure that something was wrong. The Gabriel he had known was brash and confident, always ready with a one-liner or easy smile. He was not, could not, be the broken shell Castiel saw before him.

Dean nudged the ex-archangel lightly. “Gabe. Your brother’s here.”

Gabriel just grunted in response, rolling over to turn his back on them.

Dean shot Castiel a look of exasperation. “I’ll leave you guys to have some time to catch up then.” He left the room. Hesitantly, Castiel sat down on the couch. That was enough to make Gabriel at least sit up to look up him, obviously realising that he wasn’t going to be left in peace for a while longer at least. Not like that was much better. He still wouldn’t look his younger brother in the eyes.

They sat in silence for a while before Castiel ventured, “I’m sorry, brother. Dean told me what happened.”

“Oh, did he now?” Gabriel laughed mockingly. “Because I know for a fact that Dean-o doesn’t have a clue about what actually happened.”

“You’re human now. Our brother tore out your grace and tortured you. I think I know more than enough to feel sympathetic towards you.” Cas said bluntly.

“I don’t need your pity, Castiel.”

“I’m not offering pity.”

“Then what?”

“I want to help you. Then, maybe, we can help each other. You are not the only one who’s lost their wings, brother.”

Gabriel sighed, “I don’t think anyone’s gonna able to help me, bro.”

“Will you at least tell me what happened to you?” Castiel said quietly. “I know you haven’t talked to the Winchesters, but I think it could help.”

“I can’t.” And if Gabriel had looked broken before, that look of hopelessness on his face was the last straw.

Castiel pulled him into a tight hug. “I’m sorry.”

“Shut up.” Gabriel’s voice was full of emotion. They stayed like that for a while before Gabriel pulled away. “Much as I love our little chats, I’m beat. You should go and see if Dean-o’s got somewhere for you to crash.” He smirked a little, looking somewhat more like his old self. “His bed would do nicely.”

“Dean values his personal space. I can’t imagine my sharing a bed with him being overly appreciated.”

Gabriel shook his head in mock despair, chuckling. “Oh yeah? Ask him about all the eye-sex you guys have sometime. That should clear things up for you.”

“I…I don’t think it’s possible to have sexual intercourse purely through eye contact.”

“Don’t act cute, Castiel. You might be clueless about doing the horizontal mambo, but you’re not _that_ clueless. Now beat it. I need my beauty sleep.”

 

Castiel did as instructed, leaving Gabriel to his own devices and recognising the excuse for what it was. Gabriel had obviously resorted to his old strategy of wearing a façade and defending it to the last. Castiel might not have seen his brother in millennia, but he hadn’t changed that much. So Gabriel wouldn’t tell him what was wrong? Fine. But Gabriel wasn’t the only one in their family who was adept at tricks. And Castiel had no plans for sitting by while his brother suffered. Not again.

 

His campaign started the next morning. Instead of leaving Gabriel to wake in his own time as the Winchesters had done, Castiel shook his brother awake. Gabriel scowled up at him with bleary eyes. “What the hell do you want?”

“I was going to make pancakes for breakfast. I thought you might like to help.”

“Since when do you know how to make pancakes? And why would I do that when you could just make them for me.”

That appeared to be Gabriel’s default tactic now: be as much of an ass as possible so people wouldn’t bother him. Castiel was too stubborn to fall at that small hurdle. Besides, he knew that Gabriel wouldn’t be able to resist the appeal of something sweet and sickly.

“I’ve looked at the basic recipe. It shouldn’t be too complex to figure out.” Castiel shrugged. “And I don’t see why you should get any when you won’t help make them.”

They had a stare-off for a while before Gabriel sighed in defeat. “Fine. But only ‘cause you’ll screw it up if I don’t help.”

 

Dean looked almost impressed when he came down to the kitchen a few minutes later to find the two of them baking, Gabriel giving instructions to Castiel with the air of a general commanding his troops. While the ex-archangel’s back was turned, he shot Castiel a questioning look.

Castiel just gave him a small smug smile before continuing to mix together the pancake batter. “You might want to see if we have any syrup, Dean. I think we’re almost ready to put the first batch on to cook.”

“Um, yeah. Sure thing, Cas.” Dean rummaged around in Bobby’s cupboards for a while before hitting the jackpot and unearthing a jar of strawberry syrup. As he popped it on the counter, he examined Castiel closely with a frown.

Castiel tilted his head in confusion. “Is there something wrong?”

“No…no, you’re good.” Dean quickly shook his head. “It’s just…you managed to get some flour on your face.”

With unexpected tenderness, he wiped Cas’s cheek with his hand. “Flour’s meant to go in the mix, Cas, not on you.”

 

The moment was broken by Gabriel coughing loudly. “I’m gonna have to stop you there before things get unhygienic. Pass me the mix, baby bro, would you?”

Castiel flushed a deep shade of red, quickly handing over the basin to Gabriel. Dean just rolled his eyes, although the way he quickly moved several paces back from Castiel in a way that was supposed to be subtle did not go unnoticed. Was that a hint of fear in his eyes? Castiel couldn’t be sure. Gabriel just laughed, spooning several helpings of mixture into the pan and starting to cook the pancakes.

“Pleased to see you’re in a good mood, at least,” Dean grumbled.

“When am I not in a good mood? Besides, pancakes taste ten times better now I’m human. ‘Course I’m happy.” Gabriel grinned at him as he served up the first batch before putting on a second.

“Heh, that’s freaking hilarious. Considering that you’ve been refusing to say more than two words to us for the last few days.”

“Hey, you try almost getting stabbed to death! See if you seem up to much afterwards.”

“He already has been. We both have. You’re not the only person here in the ‘Almost Died’ Club, Gabriel. Partly thanks to you.”

Gabriel’s smile abruptly faded as he heard the sound of Sam’s voice coming from the kitchen doorway. “I’ll leave you to take care of the rest of those, Dean-o. I’m gonna get some air.” Quickly grabbing a plate of pancakes for himself and dousing them in syrup, he made a beeline for the back door.

“You could have handled that better,” Castiel said curtly to Sam, feeling a perverse twinge of pleasure when he saw how the other man’s face fell at his words. He took his own plate of food and went to look for Gabriel.

 

…………………

 

Once Castiel had left the room, Sam visibly slumped. No matter what he did, Gabriel just kept on avoiding him. He tried to be nice; he was met with a look of fear. He was a dick; Gabriel usually left too quickly to even bother attempting to fight back. It wasn’t hard to work out why. Never had Sam been so painfully reminded of his position as Lucifer’s true vessel. Who knew what that douchebag had done to spook Gabriel so badly? He had tried to be sympathetic. Really tried. But every time Gabriel flinched as he entered the room, another little piece inside Sam died. Now, anger was a more common response than pity. Shouldn’t Gabriel, of all people, know that he was nothing like Lucifer? Obviously not. Or maybe…maybe Sam was like the Devil. Maybe Gabriel had only just begun to see it and this was his response. It was that thought that hurt Sam most, more than anything.

 

………………………

 

It didn’t take long for Castiel to track his brother down. Gabriel had taken shelter in the Impala, feet resting on the dashboard as he scarfed down his breakfast. Castiel slid into the driver’s seat next to him, “Dean will murder you if he sees you sitting like that and eating fried food in his car.”

Gabriel shrugged, “Like I can’t handle Dean-o.” His voice sounded tired, weary almost.

“It’s just Sam you can’t deal with.” The small display in the kitchen had been enough to make Castiel certain of that.

“I don’t know what the hell you’re talking about.”

“If you’re going to do me the discourtesy of lying to my face, brother, you might at least make it convincing. I saw how you reacted when he came into the kitchen. You tensed up the moment you heard him enter.”

“Okay, fine. Maybe I don’t want to be around Sammy at the moment. So what?” Gabriel snapped. “It’s not like it matters.”

“It matters to me.”

“Only ‘cause Dean-o’s been giving you grief, I bet. What’s the problem now? I’ve somehow hurt their feelings or something?”

“Yes actually,” Castiel sighed. “But that’s not what’s important here. You’re my brother and I love you. I don’t like seeing you suffer like this.”

“Don’t think I really deserve that title anymore, kiddo.”

Castiel thought for a while before saying softly, “Do you remember Eden?”

Gabriel relaxed a little, a small smile appearing on his lips. “Of course I do. Those were the good old days.”

Castiel couldn’t help smiling back at him. “You probably don’t remember, but you took me to the Persian Gulf one day, where the Tigris and Euphrates flow into the sea. We watched as a little grey fish heaved itself out of the water. And you told me-”

“Don’t step on that fish, Castiel. Dad’s got big plans for that fish,” Gabriel interrupted him. “I remember. You always were a dorky little kid. Too curious for your own good. Someone had to keep an eye on you.”

“Why did you?” The question had bothered Castiel for millennia.

“It wasn’t like anyone else was going to.” Gabriel shrugged. “Besides, you were one of the only ones who had time for me. You didn’t judge me by my rank like everyone else did. Didn’t act like I was just your military commander.”

“Then again, that was because I didn’t consider you to be a very good archangel,” Castiel said with a chuckle. “I didn’t see the need to defer to you in the same way as Michael or Raphael.”

“Yeah, well, you got that much right.”

“I was wrong in that assessment, though.” Castiel’s voice was quiet as he reached out to rest a hand on Gabriel’s shoulder. “You are the best archangel we had. Our siblings might have learned a lot if they had deferred to you instead of the others.”

“Was an archangel. I’m not anymore.”

“And our siblings are too entrenched in Michael’s misguided beliefs to be moved, even if you were.” Castiel sighed. “I hate our family, sometimes.”

“But they’re not your only family, kiddo. You’ve got the Winchesters.”

“I hardly think-”

“You’re family to them, Cas,” Gabriel cut him off. “And yeah, they’re a little screwed up too, but they’re at least loyal to the people they see as family and they care about you. That’s more than you can say of most of the Brady Bunch upstairs.”

“And you have them too. You have the Winchesters and the pagans.”

Gabriel sighed. “Yeah, there’s just one slight problem with that theory, kiddo. People don’t usually go round stabbing their family in the chest. I’m not on the Winchesters’ Christmas card list, let alone invited to Thanksgiving dinner.”

“But your mutual enmity is in the past now, Gabriel.” Castiel frowned, “You honestly think the Winchesters would have let you stay here if they didn’t consider you to be a friend?”

“I think they’d let me stay here so long as I’m useful.” Gabriel muttered.

Something in his tone made Castiel pause. There was a deeper bitterness here, one that went beyond the Winchesters’ old attempts at hunting Gabriel down. It didn’t take much for him to guess at the cause. Not where their family was concerned. Lucifer had always had a fondness for taking the forms of people his victims cared about, to extract information. It worked so well, Heaven had adopted it as part of its disciplining procedure. Castiel had become only too familiar with that aspect of Heaven’s judicial system.

“Gabriel. Did Lucifer make you speak to illusions of the Winchesters while he had you prisoner?”

Gabriel didn’t answer. That was almost a confirmation in itself.

“What did they say to you?” Castiel’s voice was almost a whisper.

Gabriel didn’t speak for a long time. When he finally did, his voice was full of pain. “Luci put me in a time loop. Just like the one I put the Winchesters through. Except this time…” He broke off.

“Sam died every day.” Castiel finished the sentence for him. Noticing Gabriel’s look of surprise, he smiled knowingly. “I know how you feel about Sam Winchester, brother. I’ve suspected as much for a long time. It’s no wonder that Lucifer began to have his suspicions when he knows you so much better than I ever did. Neither of you is to blame for this.”

“I was going to say yes, Cas!” A single tear ran down Gabriel’s cheek as he tried, and failed, to hold it together. “I was gonna tell Lucifer that I’d help him to destroy the planet. But just before I could, I woke up in Bobby’s study with those two muttonheads expecting me to help them. Is that what you want to hear? How close to breaking I was?”

“No. You’re not weak. There’s something you’re simply choosing not to tell me.”

Gabriel ignored him, continuing to talk. Once he’d started, it was hard stopping the confession. “I don’t even know if this is the real world, or just another reality warp Lucifer’s set up to torment me. I don’t even know if the Winchesters I saw in the loop were real or fake, if I’m just believing that it wasn’t really them because that’s what I want to think. I…I just can’t do it anymore, Cas.”

 

As Gabriel spoke, waves of silent anger began to pour off of Castiel. Hatred for Lucifer. Righteous anger for what had happened to his elder brother. Fury at how he could have been staying with the Winchesters for so long and for no one to have even bothered asking what had happened or coaxing a confession out of him. It didn’t take much to see that there was something deeply wrong with Gabriel. They could have at least tried. Then, maybe, Gabriel wouldn’t have been left feeling so hopeless for so long. And if Sam hadn’t been constantly bickering with the former archangel, subconsciously reminding him of all of Lucifer’s former cruelties… It was unacceptable. They should have known better.

 

He opened the car door. “Wait here. There is some business I must attend to.”


	5. Chapter 5

Sometimes, it was easy to forget that Castiel had been a soldier of Heaven. This was not one of those times. His face was like thunder as he stormed into the kitchen and grabbed Sam’s shoulder, forcibly turning him round to face him.  
“Cas, what the…”  
“What do you think you’re playing at?” Cas snapped, eyes full of fury.  
“I don’t understand. If this is about Gabriel…”  
“Of course it’s about Gabriel. He’s lost his grace, the worst fate possible for an angel. He has been tortured in every way imaginable, by a brother he once cared about, and you think it’s right to act cruelly towards him?”  
“Gabriel’s a tough guy. Not like he’s actually taking any of it personally.” Sam didn’t even fully believe it himself.  
Castiel laughed derisively. “Yes, well, then you might want to explain why I had to go outside and comfort my brother. Because he didn’t look fine to me.”  
“Look, it’s not like he’s being nice to me or anything. The guy’ll hardly even look at me.”  
“Is that supposed to be some kind of excuse? Because it’s pathetic.”  
The two of them were in each other’s faces now, spoiling for a fight. Dean tried to push them apart. “Easy, fellas. Let’s at least talk about this before you two go all Fight Club, okay?”  
“No. Sam needs to fix this. Now.”  
“Why do I need to fix this? Gabriel’s the one who can’t be bothered to talk to me.”  
“He can’t speak to you because he’s scared. Lucifer used his greatest weakness against him, and it’s had an effect. If you had been more careful…”  
“Oh really?” Sam raised an eyebrow, voice full of mockery. “And what the hell’s that supposed to be? Like that’d have anything to do with me.”  
“You fool. It has everything to do with you,” Cas hissed. “He’s in love with you. He’s always been in love with you, and Lucifer used it against him. So don’t you dare tell me that this isn’t your concern.”  
Silence. Then, suddenly, the sound of a plate smashing. All of them turned around to see Gabriel standing in the door, eyes wide. Cas made as if to go and comfort him, but his brother was long gone before he could reach him. It didn’t take long before they heard the familiar revving of a car engine. Dean rushed outside, but it was too late.  
“That son of a bitch stole Baby.”

……………

Of course Sam was the one sent out to find him.

Cas practically shoved him out the door and Dean had just muttered something about not wanting to get in the way of his “little crush”. Great. Not that Sam had any particular objection to seeing Gabriel or anything. It was just difficult, readjusting everything in his mind to fit the one simple truth. Gabriel loved him. The trickster who’d made his life a misery for months, who’d saved them from Lucifer, loved him. It was still too much to process. He didn’t know what to think. He didn’t know if he… That was beside the point. What was important now was Gabriel, not his own feelings.

It didn’t take long for Sam to find the former Trickster. He was sat in the local Biggerson’s, poking moodily at a stack of pancakes smothered in maple syrup. Sam slid into the bench opposite him.  
“Wow. Are you trying to have a sugar rush or something? That’s your second stack this morning.”  
“Great, so we’re doing Groundhog Day again,” Gabriel muttered. “Go bother someone else, Sam. You’re wasting your time here.”  
Sam sighed. “Look, I know I might be the last person you want to see right now, but we need to talk, okay?”  
Gabriel ignored at him, still fiddling with his food. When it became obvious that Sam wasn’t going anywhere he sighed. “Fine then. What do you want?”  
“Is it true?”  
Sam’s voice was barely a whisper. Gabriel said nothing in response, but the way his shoulders slumped in defeat was answer enough.  
“Gabe, I…”  
“Forget it, Sammy. I don’t need your pity. Just fuck off and leave me alone.”  
“That’s not what I was going to say.”  
“You were thinking it.”  
“Okay, maybe I am sorry. I wish you’d told me.”  
Gabriel laughed bitterly. “Yeah, like that’d have gone down well. ‘Heya Sam, I know I sadistically mentally tortured you and your brother a few times, but just so you know, I’ve kinda got a crush on you’. You’d have thought it was a trick. Or stabbed me to death on the spot. Take your pick.”  
“How long?”  
“Does it even matter?”  
“It matters to me.”  
The archangel paused, obviously considering his words carefully.  
“The first time I ever saw your soul.” There was an unexpected tenderness in Gabriel’s voice that took Sam off guard. He didn’t know what to say.  
Gabriel obviously misinterpreted the meaning of his silence. “You don’t have to worry about keeping me around anymore. I’ll go hang out in one of my old safe houses. I’ll not let Luci track me down again, I swear.”  
“You don’t have to leave, Gabriel.” Sam sighed. He reached out, lightly resting a hand over Gabriel’s smaller one. Gabriel flinched at his touch, but didn’t pull away. “I just…I don’t know what to say. I mean, I don’t feel the same way or anything, but that’s ‘cause I’ve never thought about you like that. It’s not that I’m not interested in you or anything. After all, you’re a good-looking guy and I kinda like being around you and…” He stopped himself, realising that he was rambling. “Look, there’s no need for you to leave. I’m not gonna be a dick about this, I swear, if that’s what you’re worried about.”  
Gabriel looked uncertain, but nodded. “Okay.”  
“Friends?”  
“Friends.”

……………

The next few days, Gabriel’s former lethargy had been replaced with a newfound energy. One wall of his temporary bedroom was covered in pieces of paper: scribbles of obscure fragments of lore that could help them; known prophecies; even fragments of the Winchester Gospels. Sam was almost impressed. It was one of the more impressive research projects he’d seen, especially coming from Gabriel. He wouldn’t have reckoned the archangel would have the staying power to produce something so detailed. 

Then again, Gabriel wanted Lucifer gone as much as the rest of them. Maybe even more so. Once he knew to listen for it, Sam couldn’t mistake the whimpers of hurt which were heard coming from Gabriel’s room every night. The quiet pleas of “Luci, don’t.” and “Please don’t hurt me, bro.” He would have gone in to comfort him, but he didn’t want to overstep his boundaries. After all, he was lucky that Gabriel would even talk to him. Whatever the douche version of him had said back at the Mystery Spot, it was still hurting Gabriel. Even so, Gabriel was obviously trying. The two of them had even formed a kind of friendship: Gabriel telling Sam outlandish stories about being a trickster that were almost unbelievable, but close enough to the truth that he couldn’t be sure; Sam teaching Gabriel how to use his laptop and the two of them working together on digging up as much lore as they could. 

Finally, they’d come up with something. A spell that could take down Lucifer for good. Sam couldn’t read the spell as it was in Elamite and Gabriel was a bit vague on the details, but the principle was sound enough. Even Bobby had thought it sounded okay, so it had to be worth a shot. Now all they had left was one last night of freedom before they went out to ice the devil. Dean and Cas had gone off someplace on their own, which Sam was trying not to think too much about. Knowing Dean, he’d probably decided to try out his ‘Last Night on Earth’ speech on Cas. Hopefully so, at any rate: Gabriel and him had been taking bets on when their stupid brothers would finally get a clue and get together. No way was he losing a bottle of whiskey ‘cause Dean didn’t have the nerve.

To pass the time, him and Gabe had hijacked some alcohol from Bobby’s store cupboard and were hanging out together in the living room. They were more than a bit tipsy: Sam was sprawled out on the couch, Gabriel leaning heavily against his shoulder.  
“What’re you gonna do, after tomorrow?” Sam asked, his speech a little slurred.  
Gabriel shrugged. “Dunno. What do angels usually do, when they’ve lost their grace? Try and live a normal life, I guess.”  
“Well, Cas is gonna stick around. You could too.”  
“Yeah, right. Cas is Dean’s angel. I’m not family like he is.”  
“You’re my angel.” Somewhere in the back of Sam’s alcohol-soaked brain, he knew this was a bad idea. But it didn’t seem right. Gabriel belonged with them. Cas and Dean. Sam and Gabe. That was how things ought to be.  
Gabriel winced, pulling away from Sam. “No, I’m not.”  
“’Course you are.” Sam really should stop talking, but too many shots of Jack had done their damage there.  
“You’re drunk, Sam. You’re not gonna feel that way in the morning, believe me.” Ignoring Sam’s protests, Gabriel left the room, coming back with a blanket. With unexpected gentleness, he laid it over Sam and tucked him in. “Go to sleep, kiddo. We’ve got a lot to do tomorrow.”  
He would have left, but Sam grabbed his hand. “Stay. Please.”  
With a small sigh of protest, Gabriel flopped down onto the couch to lie down beside him. He squirmed a bit when Sam wrapped an arm around his waist to pull him close, but soon, he was asleep. For the first time since Elysium Fields, Gabriel wasn’t troubled by nightmares.

……………………

Gabriel woke first. It took a few moments for him to wake up fully and realise that the warm body pressed up close against him was Sam’s. He looked beautiful like this, utterly at peace with the sun casting a warm light onto his face. Gabriel might’ve missed seeing Sam’s soul, now he was human, but moments like this were almost as good. It couldn’t be real, though. Sam had been drunk and it had probably been their last night alive. The shadow of Lucifer’s visions hung heavy over him too. Maybe it had just been a trick, but even so. Lucifer never lied if he could help it. Revealing painful truths had always been his favourite way of manipulating his victims.

No, Gabriel couldn’t believe that Sam wanted him to stay. He couldn’t bring himself to have that much hope.

“Sorry, kiddo.” He pressed a light kiss to Sam’s cheek before sliding out from under his arm.

When Sam woke, he was alone.


	6. Chapter 6

It seemed fitting to end it all here. The Elysium Fields Motel. As good a place as any for a dramatic showdown. Besides, Gabriel liked a good showstopper on which to end his tricks. Some things were never going to change, grace or not.

 

“You guys ready for Operation Kill Lucifer?” Gabriel asked, glancing round at the motley band. He was greeted with nods for the most part, although Sam did look unsure about something. No matter. He could ask him about it afterwards. If there was an afterwards, that is. He started to pray. “Hey, Luci. Looks like you’ve been trying to get my attention lately. Well, good news is, it worked. C’mon, get down here. You and me need to have a little conversation.”

 

There was a flutter of wings; then Lucifer was standing before him. “For someone so renowned as a trickster, you need to work on your ability to trap someone successfully, little brother.”

“Who said anything about this being a trick?” Gabriel raised an eyebrow. “Or at least, it’s not a trap for you, anyways. I thought you wanted the Hardy Boys gift-wrapped and delivered to your door.” He heard Dean mutter a few curses under his breath and Sam take a sharp intake of breath. Good. Looked like everything was going to plan. “I’ve been thinking about what you said, you know, back in the Mystery Spot. I really don’t owe these two yahoos anything. It’s my family I should be worried about.”

Lucifer still looked sceptical. “And why should I believe that this isn’t just some little trick to get your grace back?”

“I thought you might say that.” Gabriel grinned. “Like I said, I learnt a lot from that lesson of yours.”

Sam was standing right beside him. Although he was ready to defend himself, he wasn’t prepared for an attack from the side, let alone a supposed ally. It was a simple matter for Gabriel to pull out his knife and stab Sam in the gut. The wound wouldn’t kill him. Gabriel had made sure of that. But it should be enough to keep him in extreme pain and render him unable to intervene in the following fight. He wasn’t quick enough to avoid seeing the hurt and betrayal in Sam’s eyes, though.

He turned back to face Lucifer. “So. That good enough to convince you? Don’t worry, I’ve not done too much damage. Figured you’d still want your vessel at the end of all this.”

“You little piece of shit…” Dean growled, moving toward Gabriel with his knife raised.

Before he could get very far though, Lucifer snapped his fingers and the hunter was rendered immobile. Dean’s mouth moved, but no sound came out. Cas would have gone to help him, but he was stuck too, trapped in the same position by Lucifer’s spell. The glare he shot the two archangels was full of silent rage.

“Now, now, Dean. Language, please. You should know better than to interrupt your elders.” Lucifer smiled maliciously before turning to Gabriel. “I thought you never would come to your senses, brother.”

“They’re just humans. Mortal, fragile.” Gabriel shrugged. “It’d be stupid caring about them.”

“You don’t mean that.” Castiel. Quietly confident as always. “You care for humanity too much, Gabriel. You always have.”

“Maybe I’ve learned what a dumb idea that was. You told Heaven to go screw themselves and now you’re human. You really think I’m gonna pull a _City of Angels_ moment too? Aw, please, give me a break.”

Castiel frowned. “Don’t do this, Gabriel.”

“Not gonna happen, baby bro. I know exactly what I’m doing.”

Realising he wasn’t going to get anywhere, presumably, Castiel fell silent. That didn’t stop Gabriel from feeling his baby brother staring daggers at him as he started to walk towards Lucifer.

“Gabriel, please. Wait.” Sam’s voice was faint, but still audible.

Gabriel stopped. He didn’t turn back, though. He couldn’t afford to have Sam’s puppy dog eyes ruin his resolve. “Gonna beg for me not to do this, Sammy? ‘Cause that’s not gonna happen. I’ve been planning on our having an Ides of March moment for a while now.”

“No.” Speaking was obviously a great effort for Sam, but he carried on regardless. “You want to stand by your brother, that’s okay. I’d be a bit of a hypocrite if I judged you for that…But I’m not gonna let you go without telling you the truth.”

Gabriel froze. Not this again. He wasn’t going to let those hateful words be the last thing Sam ever said to him. “If you’re going to tell me that I’m a selfish bastard who tortured you and made your life hell, you can save it. I don’t want to hear it.”

Sam laughed mirthlessly, the laugh turning into a coughing fit as he choked on his own blood. “You seriously think that’s how I see you? Gabe…I’m in love with you. I thought…I thought you knew.”

 

No. Sam wasn’t…He couldn’t be…Not now… Gabriel couldn’t listen to this. He didn’t have time to.

Taking a few deep breaths, he muttered, “Sorry, Sam. Guess you should’ve known by now that you can’t take the trick out of the Trickster. Like this is the first time I’ve had to fake my feelings.”

With renewed purpose, Gabriel strode over to Lucifer. His elder brother pulled out a vial full of light, a pure white light it was almost painful to look at. “I believe this belongs to you.” Gabriel nodded, taking the vial with trembling hands. He took the lid off and in one easy motion, swallowed down the contents. Immediately, he felt their Dad’s blessing flowing through him, filling every pore of his being. His eyes glowed golden and his six pairs of wings unfurled behind him, regrown by the grace. Once it was over, Lucifer pulled him into a tight hug, just like the way they used to as fledglings. Gabriel hugged him back tightly.

“It’s good to have you back, brother,” Lucifer said softly.

“Missed you too, Luci,” Gabriel murmured. “And for the record, I’m sorry.”

Lucifer hardly had time to look confused before Gabriel’s blade pierced through his back. His eyes filled with hurt and betrayal as he clung tightly to Gabriel, but all too soon, the light from his eyes faded and his vessel slumped to the ground.

 

No matter how dead inside Gabriel felt, though, he didn’t have time to grieve. Quickly, he made his way over to Sam. The hunter was unconscious, slumped in a pool of his own blood. Gabriel was only just in time; his grip on life was that slim. Tenderly, he leaned down to kiss Sam on the forehead, muttering some words in Enochian. _Sorry. Beloved. Loved._ Then he poured his grace into Sam, knitting together flesh and bone.

“Gabe…” Sam started to wake up.

“Hey there, kiddo.” Gabriel smiled down at him, blinking back the tears that threatened to spill out. “Looks like you fell for my trick, too, huh? Luci didn’t know what hit him, I had him fooled that good-”

Gabriel was broken off when Sam grabbed his shirt, pulling him down into a passionate kiss. Gabriel made a noise of surprise as Sam’s lips met his, but he soon pressed in close to the other man, running a gentle hand through Sam’s shaggy hair. When they finally moved away from each other, Gabriel couldn’t help staring wide-eyed at Sam, still not quite believing what had just happened.

Instead of any kind of soppy response, though, Sam just scowled at him. “You idiot. I’m gonna kill you one of these days.”

“Don’t think you’ll ever manage that one, kiddo.” Gabriel laughed, still on a high from the kiss. Maybe there was something better than candy, so long as Sam was around to kiss him. He leaned in to kiss Sam tenderly again. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay.” Sam smiled up at him. “It was a trap all along, right? You had to convince Lucifer that you were honestly betraying us, so we had to react convincingly.”

Gabriel nodded guiltily. “I’m just glad it worked.”

“Are you okay?” Sam asked quietly, combing a gentle hand through his hair.

“I’m fine, Samsquatch. We just took down the Death Star, chucked the one ring into Mordor-”

“Killed your brother,” Sam interrupted him. “I’m not saying that you’re not a hero, because you are. It’s just that it’s okay to be upset about it.”

Gabriel glanced over at Lucifer’s corpse, quickly turning away after only a few moments. “He’s not my brother. Not anymore. Not the one I remember, at any rate.”

“You’ll have to tell me about him, sometime.” Sam’s voice was soft. “What it was like, back then. I mean, you are gonna be sticking around, right?” The hopefulness in his voice was almost painful.

Gabriel shook his head. “I can’t.”

“What? But I thought…”

“Someone’s got to go clean up the mess in Heaven. Mike’s gonna be pissed, when he found out I hurt Luci, and Raph’s gonna have his back.” Gabriel sighed. “I’ve been running away for far too long now. It’s time to change that.”

Sam was silent for a long time before saying, “Okay. I’m not saying I like it, but okay. And we can’t do anything to help?”

“No offence, but letting you anywhere near those asshats is a bad idea. You don’t want to know some of the stuff they could do to you, Sam. Stuff that I wouldn’t be able to fix. And now you’re not needed as a vessel…” Gabriel fell silent.

“Fine.” Sam sighed. “Promise me you’ll take care of yourself at least, okay?”

“Okay. I’ll be back soon, I promise.” Gabriel smiled, embracing Sam tightly. “You keep an eye on my baby bro too while I’m gone. Someone needs to look after the poor kid.”

Sam nodded, “Yeah, sure. Love you, Gabe.”

“Yeah, I know.” With one last smirk and a flutter of wings, Gabriel was gone. He’d be back soon, though. He had to be.

 

 

……………

 

Gabriel couldn’t help but let out a sigh as he left Sam. They might’ve just taken down Lucifer, but that was just one battle. They’d not won the war yet. Not by a long shot. Yeah, Gabriel might be an archangel, but his powers were nothing compared to his big brothers. And with both of them against him, not to mention however many other angels? He was going to have to do something stupid. Especially if he wanted to see Sam again.

 

It didn’t take long for him to find a crossroads and bury the relevant herbs needed for the summoning spell.

 

“Crowley? I’ve got a little deal you’re gonna want in on. Interested?”


End file.
